Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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Alan [reading the newspaper]: Hey, mom, here's some good news. It seems with medical breakthroughs, the average life span will soon be a hundred years.
Evelyn: Wonderful, more time to be ignored by your children


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Alan Harper Quotes, Evelyn Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 17 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 17 Quotes

Rose: Every time we have sex I can feel his eyes burning a hole in the back of my head.
Charlie: That's gonna keep me up at night

An awards ceremony is like a Thai massage. If you don't know that there's gonna be a happy ending, there's no point in lying down

Charlie