Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two-and-a-half-men

Michelle: I thought I heard man crying.
Charlie: That's nothing, that's just Alan.
Michelle: It's nothing?
Charlie: Yeah, he gets up in the middle of the night to pee. And he can't get back to sleep, so he masturbates. Then he starts crying.
Michelle: That's awful.
Charlie: It's like the ocean, i can't even hear it anymore.

Like Us On Facebook

Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 (1 Vote)

Want more Two and a Half Men?

Sign up for our daily newsletter and receive the latest tv news delivered to your inbox for free!

Show:
Episode:
Character:
Related Quotes:
Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episode 7 Quotes, Charlie Harper Quotes
Added by:
Added:

Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episode 7 Quotes

Michelle: You have a wonderful son.
Evelyn: Yes I do. But Charlie and Alan must never learn of him.

Michelle: You eat a lot of fish. Aren't you worried about mercury?
Charlie: Michelle, on the list of things I expect to kill me, mercury poisoning ranks well below liver failure, struck by lightning and heart attack during sex. Guess which one I'm rooting for?

x Close Ad