Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two-and-a-half-men

Evelyn: Margaret, good to see you! How's married life?
Margaret: Oh, just one long honeymoon.
Evelyn: That's because she bangs a different groom every night.
Charlie: Hi. Charlie Harper.

Like Us On Facebook

Unrated

Want more Two and a Half Men?

Sign up for our daily newsletter and receive the latest tv news delivered to your inbox for free!

Show:
Episode:
Characters:
,
Related Quotes:
Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 2 Quotes, Charlie Harper Quotes, Evelyn Harper Quotes
Added by:
Added:

Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 2 Quotes

Alan: Well, I'd love to help you out, Mom, but, uh, I have a date tonight.
Evelyn: So, now it's inflatable sex doll night at Dodger Stadium?
Alan: No, no, I really have a date. And the doll was a gag gift from one of my patients.
Evelyn: Charlie, what about you?
Charlie: I tried it once, but I prefer a real woman.

Alan: Charlie, I'm not gonna lie to some poor woman, just so you can dump her.
Charlie: I'm not dumping her. We've just grown apart.
Alan: Since you've picked her up at a bar last night?
Charlie: People change...

x Close Ad