Peter: Guys, be sure to look down the whole time. It's really deep and freaky and disoritenting! [falls] It's okay, there'a huge pile of dead bodies down here that cushioned my fall.
Lois: Do any of them seem like they have any extra tampons in their backpack?
Peter Uh, no.
Lois: No like you checked and there aren't any no, or no you're just assuming?
Peter: I'm embarassed.

• Permalink: Guys, be sure to look down the whole time. It's really deep and ...
• Rating: Unrated

Lois: Peter, you left the flap open!
Peter: It's like a thousand degrees in here, Lois!
Lois: Close the tent now, it's freezing!
Peter: Headline: "Woman Cold."

• Permalink: Peter, you left the flap open! It's like a thousand degrees in...
• Rating: Unrated

Lois: We made it! We proved that we're not second best!
Ross Fishman: Well, look who finally got here!
Lois: You beat us?
Pam Fishman: Don't feel too bad. We only beat you by one hour, twelve minutes, and forty-two seconds.
Ross: And quite frankly, we're bored of it up here. So you guys enjoy it, we're gonna head back down.

• Permalink: We made it! We proved that we're not second best! Well, look w...
• Rating: Unrated

Meg: Oh, he's so cute!
Stewie: Oh my god, we're getting closer to the beginning! You're Lacey Chabert!

• Permalink: Oh, he's so cute! Oh my god, we're getting closer to the begin...
• Rating: Unrated

Well, it's up to you buddy. Save this marriage.

Peter

• Permalink: Well, it's up to you buddy. Save this marriage.
• Rating: Unrated

Quagmire: Wait a minute, Bobby Briggs is the one who crippled you? You always told us you fell off a roof during a fight with the Grinch.
Joe: ...I lied.

• Permalink: Wait a minute, Bobby Briggs is the one who crippled you? You alw...
• Rating: Unrated

This is going to take us to the next level. We're going to be banging so many hot chicks with jeans up to their navels.

Bobby Briggs

• Permalink: This is going to take us to the next level. We're going to be ba...
• Rating: Unrated

Joe: [in flashback] Easy, Briggs, you kill a cop, they'll put you away forever.
Bobby Briggs: Then get ready to spend the rest of your life as a lame gimp with an annoying-voiced wife.
Joe: He meant Bonnie.

• Permalink: Easy, Briggs, you kill a cop, they'll put you away forever. Th...
• Rating: Unrated

Peter: I like that you can tell me your stories starting at the Clam and end it on a ferris wheel.
Quagmire: Yeah, people are starving in Africa and I'm in a carnival with my best buddies on a beautiful night. Blessings. Blessings.

• Permalink: I like that you can tell me your stories starting at the Clam an...
• Rating: Unrated

Briggs reportedly escaped during a prison open house, an event that will most likely be canceled in the future.

Tom Tucker

• Permalink: Briggs reportedly escaped during a prison open house, an event t...
• Rating: Unrated

No, Swanson, you're too close to the case! I'm putting Officers Grant and Casey on it, because they're so far from the case they don't care about it at all!

Police Chief

• Permalink: No, Swanson, you're too close to the case! I'm putting Officers ...
• Rating: Unrated

Quagmire: Joe, your 25-year-old son and your baby daughter share a room just so you can keep a weirdo Beautiful Mind room? Isn't that a little bizarre?
Kevin Swanson: And then we the dug the bullets out of that Iraqi family's skulls so they couldn't be traced back to us.
Susie Swanson: [thinking in Patrick Stewart's voice] Today, I saw the moon!

• Permalink: Joe, your 25-year-old son and your baby daughter share a room ju...
• Rating: Unrated