Modern Family

Modern Family Season 3 Quotes (Page 6)

Season 3 Episode 14: "Me? Jealous?"

Phil: He got divorced and his whole life opened up. Guy's living the dream.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 13: "Little Bo Bleep"

Phil: All over YouTube.
Claire: It went viral.
Phil: Some sicko auto-tunned me.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Duane Bailey [to Claire]: Ma'am according to this police report he broke into a stranger's room, stripped naked, and posed provocatively.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Phil: Someday I'll be walking you down the aisle.
Haley: Not if you're in perv jail.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Alex [to Claire]: I think it's cool you're running for town office. It's totally nerdy but that's kind of my thing.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cam: I'm sorry but you know I have two weakness: children cursing and old people rapping!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cam: More like Little Bo Cheap.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Luke: You yelled at my teacher for calling me special.
Claire: Hunnie that wasn't a compliment.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: Some voters find Claire angry and unlikeable. To those voters I would say...wait till she reads this.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 12: "Egg Drop"

Jay [to Claire]: You came out of the womb like that. I'm not entirely sure there wasn't a twin in there that you bumped off.
 • Rating: Unrated

Claire [to Jay]: The way we compete with each other is sick! Two 13-year-olds knew how to take advantage of us.
 • Rating: Unrated

Alex [to Claire]: First get a mirror, then you're gonna look into it and you're gonna see a crazy woman. She needs your help.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Haley: There's this really cute boy at school and he kind of likes my feet.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jay: Sometimes the best thing to do in a race to the top is grease the pole behind you.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Cam: It's kind of like a first date.
Mitchell: Actually it's the opposite of the first date. You don't want to have sex, but you do want a baby.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mitchell: Claire is like the son my dad always wanted. He just wanted someone to throw a ball in the backyard, I did once but he did not attend.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gloria: That's when you know your family loves you, when they feel free to scream at you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Manny: I understood " crazy old witch" "go kill yourself" then "I love you."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 11: "Lifetime Supply"

Jay: This is a lot of hocus pocus, I can't believe I bought a coffee cake over this!!!
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Mitchell: I'm so glad I spoke to Alex because she agreed with every single thing that I was saying...which made me realize that I was acting like a 14-year-old girl.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Are we missing your favorite "Modern Family" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!