South Park

South Park Season 2 Quotes (Page 10)

Season 2 Episode 8: "Summer Sucks"

Mr. Garrison: (answering phone) Hello?
Mr. Mackey: Hello, is Mr. Hat there?
Mr. Garrison: Is this some kind of joke?!
Mr. Mackey: (chuckles) Yes.
Mr. Garrison: You go to hell! You go to hell and you die! I'm gonna find out who you are!
Mr. Mackey: No, I don't think you can... M'kay?
Mr. Garrison: (hanging up) Goddammit!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Baby Stan: Oo das kill Kenny!
Baby Kyle: Oo bastards!
 • Rating: Unrated

Guard: Good evening, gentlemen.
Jimbo: Oh, hello, fellow American. We're just anxious to get back to our homeland.
Guard: Well, alright But before I let you go, I have to ask you a few questions.
Jimbo: Fire away. We have nothing to hide
Guard: Is there anyone other than the two of you in this vehicle?
Jimbo: No, sir.
Guard: Do you have any firearms or explosives in the car?
Jimbo: Yes I-I mean, no! No!
Guard: Open your trunk please, sir.
Jimbo: Damn! Damn, I always get that question wrong!
 • Rating: Unrated

Mayor's Assistant: We are sorry the mayor cannot be here, because she issick.
Reporters: Aw c'mon, what kind of lame excuse is that?
Mayor's Assistant: She's having her period.
Reporter: Oh. Okay.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: I'm not going to sit here and listen to a bunch of hippies in denial. Screw you guys, I'm going home!
Stan: But Cartman we're (interrupted by Cartman)
Cartman: No, no, no. Screw you guys. Home.
Stan: What does he mean: "living in denial"?
Kyle: Dude, it's Cartman. He's just being a dumb ass like always.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 7: "Fashbacks"

(Cartman's Flashback)
Dr. Mephesto: Cartman's father is John Elway.
Cartman: All right!
John Elway: Come on son, let's go get some ice cream.
(Outside the flashback)
Cartman: Now that's what I call a sticky situation.
Stan: John Elway's not your dad, it's your mom because she has a penis.
 • Rating: Unrated

Executive: How would you like to make a million dollars, baby?
Mrs. Crabtree: How'd you like to suck my ass!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mrs. Crabtree: Let me have some of your aspirin.
Man: Uhh, miss, those are actually rufies.
Mrs. Crabtree: Rufies, aspirin, right now I don't give a rat's ass!
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: Oh my god! Kenny... killed... Death...
Kyle: You... bastard?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kyle: Dammit Cartman! You are such a fat f**k!!
Ms. Crabtree: What did you say?!?!
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: I can't possibly finish this whole chocolate cake by myself. Oh yes I can.
Kyle: Shut up Cartman!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(all the kids are panicked and making a lot of noise)
Ms. Crabtree: All right! (she opens a box and pulls out a revolver and a rabbit) Everybody shut up or the cute little bunny DIES!!
(everybody shuts up)
Stan: She's always trying to get us to shut up by threatening to kill that bunny, but do you think she ever would?
Kyle: Oh she would dude, she would.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: Hey, you guys! What if Ms. Crabtree doesn't come back and we're all trapped up here forever!
(The kids all gasp.)
Kyle: We couldn't get trapped up here forever, Cartman; we'd die after a couple of days
(The kids all gasp louder.)
Stan: Dude!
Kyle: What?
Cartman: (scared) I don't wanna die on this bus with you assholes! You guys suck!
Stan: Dude, would you just relax? We've been in a lot worse situations than this, and we've come out of them just fine.
Kyle: Worse than this??
Stan: Oh, sure. Don't you remember the time the alien visitors kidnapped your little brother Ike? Now THAT was scary!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 6: "The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka"

Producer: This isn't working! Somebody get pissed off and throw a chair at Ned.
Cartman: Dibs!
 • Rating: Unrated

The 'Huntin and Killin' theme song:We're so glad you spent your time with us while we slaughtered our way through nature's guts come again and stay a while we'll kill a lot more living things and make them bleed.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: We're sorry for turning Ned into a vegetable.
Jimbo: Ah, he'll be fine. I'll just take him home and show him some good hardcore porn and he'll snap right out if it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jesus: In our competition for ratings, we all lost sight of why we got into showbusiness in the first place.
Ned: Yeah. Titties and beer.
Jesus: Actually, I was referring more to the pursuit of truth...
 • Rating: Unrated

(During Mr. Garrison's Vietnam flashback)
Troop: Ok, who's taking a shower first?
Rest of the Troops: OOOOO OOO ME ME!
 • Rating: Unrated

(After seeing Ned burning the deer)
Jimbo: Good job, Ned! Now they won't starve!
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: Are there any questions? Yes, Mr. Garrison?
Mr. Garrison: Yes, where the f**k did you hear this ridiculous load of bulls**t?
Kyle: From Vietnam veterans.
 • Rating: Unrated

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