South Park

South Park Season 2 Quotes (Page 11)

Season 2 Episode 6: "The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka"

Jimbo: Vietnam was more like shoving shards of broken glass up your ass and sitting in a tub of tabasco sauce fun.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: (while in a dress) Why do I have to be the old lady?
Kyle: Because your fat and all old ladies are too!
Cartman: Hey!
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: Whoa, Dude. I don't take drugs and worship Satan!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jesus: Shut the f**k up!!! Jesus, what is wrong with you people?!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jesus: Welcome back. Now, Jimbo, would you please tell me why your nephew do stuff like this to you?
Jimbo: Well, I'll tell you, Jesus... It's because he takes drugs and he worships the devil!
(The people in the audience gasp.)
People in audience: (chanting) Jesus! Jesus!
Jesus: Wow, Stanley! Now your uncle sounds really worried for you!
Stan: Well, I only did it because he... MOLESTED me!
(The people in the audience gasp again.)
Jimbo: Why, you little piece of crap...!
Stan: You big piece of crap!
Cartman: That's it! Now I'm all pissed off! (Cartman throws a chair at Ned) Take that, hippie!
Jimbo: Hey!
 • Rating: Unrated

Producer: Our ratings have gone up to twenty people.
Jimbo: Does that mean we get more money?
Producer: No, but I do!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 5: "Conjoined Fetus Lady"

Cartman: I love you guys.
[A long pause as Stan and Kyle stare at Cartman]
Cartman: Ah, screw you guys.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chinese Guy: Hey you stupid American! Throw ball! What the matter?! You got crepes in your ears?!
 • Rating: Unrated

Tall Announcer: Hey, you wanna hear my impression of an American? (throws his voice to sound like he's American) "Hey! I really, really want that! That looks good!"
(The announcers burst out laughing.)
Short Announcer: Let me try, let me try! (throws his voice as well) "I'll use my credit card."
(The announcers laugh again.)
Short Announcer: (throwing voice again) "Do you have any non-dairy creamer?"
(The announcers continue to laugh.)
Tall Announcer: "Y'all come-a back now, ya hear?"
(The announcers laugh so hard they fall back.)
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: (about the nurse) And when she moved up and down, the little fetus jiggled!
All boys: Eww!
Cartman: Did it talk?? The little fetus, did it talk??
Kyle: No, dude! It looked dead!
All boys: Eww!
Stan: Was it wearing clothes??
Kyle: (weirded out) Dude, where's she gonna get fetus clothes?
Stan: Oh, yeah Eww!
All boys: Eww!
 • Rating: Unrated

Short Announcer: Oh, and another American is down! It's number, uh oh, I don't know; all Americans look alike!
(Both announcers laugh hard.)
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 4: "Ike's Wee Wee"

Cartman: The fireman is very magical. Rub his helmet and he spits in your eye.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Cartman: Dude, that is not cool! Chopping off wee-wees is not cool!
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Mackey: Uh, Marijuana's bad.
Street Guy: What?
Mr. Mackey: Marijuana makes you feel depressed and low.
Street Guy: And you don't feel that way now?
Mr. Mackey: Hmm, good point.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Ike: Hi-dee-ho!
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Stan: (imitating Mr. Mackey) We're sorry, Mr. Mackey, mmkay?
Mr. Mackey: Uh, that's okay, just don't let it happen again.
Kyle: We won't let it happen again, Mr. Mackey, mmkay?
Mr. Mackey: Mmkay, that's that.
Cartman: Mmkay?
Mr. Mackey: Mmkay.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Guy: Hi!
Sheila: Hi. Uh, do I know you?
Guy: Oh no, but I never miss a bris! I brought some dip.
Sheila: Oh great.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: Dude, you don't just chop off somebody's fireman!
Kyle: I won't believe it, I won't.
 • Rating: Unrated

Devil Mackey: Go ahead, drink the beer. It will calm you down.
Angel Mackey: Yeah, why the hell not? It's just beer. Don't be such a p***y, mmmkay.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Freely: (Mackey's landlord) I've never taken drugs before and look at me...I'm fine. Now get off my property before I lose control and kill you!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

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