(After two contestants win on a game show)
Announcer: Tom and Mary, put on your cowboy hats because you're going to beautiful, South Park, Colorado!
Mary: Where?
Announcer: That's right, just in time for "Cow Days" the worlds 45th biggest Rodeo and Carnival. Every year South Park celebrates Cow Days, and you're going to be a part of it! You'll stay at the Super 7 Hotel, Ride the rides, play the games and the world famous "Running of the Cows"! Congrats!
Mary: Shit!

Kenny: (muffled) Oh my god! They killed Cartman!
Kyle: No, we didn't kill him; he's still breathing!

Cartman: Oh my God they killed Kenny!
Kyle: (while outside, not seeing this) You bastards!

Mr. Garrison: Stan, are you paying attention!?
Stan: Yes, Mr. Garrison.
Mr. Garrison: Well then, Stanley, what did I just say?
Stan: Umyou said that even though Charo appeared twelve times on the Love Boat, the episode with Captain Antonio got higher ratings.
Mr. Garrison: Well ok, I suppose you were paying attention.

Sharon: What are you doing sweetheart?
Stan: Getting a cookie. We're gonna build a clubhouse and then were......
(Sharon interrupts)
Sharon: You men are all alike. First you get a cookie, then you criticize the way I dress, and then the way I cook. I suppose next you'll tell me you need your space and that I'm sabotaging your creativity. Go ahead Stanly get your god damn cookie.

Fat Abbot: Hey, Sally, why's your eye all black and blue and s***?
Sally: My stepfather hit me in the face
Fat Abbot: Stepfather?! You need to snatch his ass up in a beartrap so no one will find him for days!

That's fine! I like playing with myself! I'll play with myself all day!

Cartman

Fat Abbot: Hey, Hey, Hey. What's goin' on Rudy?
Rudy: Man Fat Abbot, you need to lose weight.
Fat Abbot: I'll lose weight when I feel like it bitch, shut you're bitch ass mouth hoe.
Rudy: Bitch! I'll kick yo ass.
Kyle: WHOA DUDE!
Stan: SWEET!
Fat Abbot: You think you slick you punk ass blasphemous dope-fiend bitch, I had my Jimmy waxed seven times last week, I'll bust a cap in you're *beep* ass *beep* head!
Kyle: Wow, cartoons are getting really dirty.

Mrs. Marsh: Did you find it?
Mr. Marsh: Give me a second would you.
Mrs. Marsh: Don't snap at me.
Mr. Marsh: I didn't snap at you!
Mrs. Marsh: You snapped at me!
Mr. Marsh: Whatever.
Mrs. Marsh: Whatever? In 15 years you've never said whatever to me.
Mr. Marsh: I don't want to fight I'm sorry.
Mrs. Marsh: I'm sorry too.
Mr. Marsh: Hey, I think I found it.
Mrs. Marsh: That's not it you idiot.
Mr. Marsh: HEY BACK OFF (beep)!
Mrs. Marsh: (Gasps) You just said the "C" word!
Mr. Marsh: ........Did I?

Wow, cartoons are getting really dirty.

Kyle

Mr. Mackey: Young man, school is a time for learning, not for your immature skylarkings.
Stan: Skylarkings?
Mr. Mackey: You know, tomfooleries.
Stan: Who?

Wendy: Truth or dare?
Stan: (like Chef) Dare.
Bebe: I dare you to shove this twig up your pee-hole.
Stan: SICK!

South Park Season 2 Quotes

Dr. Doctor: We must split up into two teams: Team A and Team B. Team A will consist of myself, Stan, Kyle, Eric, Chef, and Nurse Goodly. Team B will consist of Kenny. Now, listen closely, Team B. Your goal will be to turn on the backup generator. To do this you must brave the storm outside and get into this sewage duct. Meanwhile, Team A will go to the holding area, here where there is a television, and some cocoa. We will drink the cocoa and watch family programming until Team B makes it through the sewage duct. By that time, Team B, remember that's you Kenny, should reach the outer core of the generator. It will be a cold and dangerous climb to the top, and there could be velociraptors here. Once you reach the top, you should be able to get a clear view from this window of us drinking cocoa and watching television. Then, you could proceed down into the generator, and power it on. Are there any questions?
Cartman: No, that sounds pretty sweet to me.
Dr. Doctor: Great, then, let's do it. Go, Team!
Kenny: (muffled) Huh?

Kyle: You can't die Mr Hankey, you can't.
Mr. Hankey: (Cough)
Kyle, before I go, there's something I must tell you. Come closer Closer
Kyle: What is it Mr Hankey?
Mr. Hankey: There is another Skywalker. Uhhh (Mr Hankey dies)
Kyle: Nooo
Mr. Hankey: (Mr Hankey appears to be alive) Wait Kyle.
Kyle: What is it Mr Hankey?
Mr. Hankey: Come closer
Kyle: What is it?
Mr. Hankey: Closer
Kyle: Yes?
Mr. Hankey: Closer! (Pause) One time, when you were sleeping, I put myself in your mouth and had my friend take a picture. Uhhh (Mr Hankey dies)
Kyle: Nooo