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(After two contestants win on a game show)
Announcer: Tom and Mary, put on your cowboy hats because you're going to beautiful, South Park, Colorado!
Announcer: That's right, just in time for "Cow Days" the worlds 45th biggest Rodeo and Carnival. Every year South Park celebrates Cow Days, and you're going to be a part of it! You'll stay at the Super 7 Hotel, Ride the rides, play the games and the world famous "Running of the Cows"! Congrats!
- Permalink: Tom and Mary, put on your cowboy hats because you're going to be...
Kenny: (muffled) Oh my god! They killed Cartman!
Kyle: No, we didn't kill him; he's still breathing!
- Permalink: Oh my god! They killed Cartman! No, we didn't kill him; he's ...
Cartman: Oh my God they killed Kenny!
Kyle: (while outside, not seeing this) You bastards!
- Permalink: Oh my God they killed Kenny! You bastards!
Mr. Garrison: Stan, are you paying attention!?
Stan: Yes, Mr. Garrison.
Mr. Garrison: Well then, Stanley, what did I just say?
Stan: Umyou said that even though Charo appeared twelve times on the Love Boat, the episode with Captain Antonio got higher ratings.
Mr. Garrison: Well ok, I suppose you were paying attention.
- Permalink: Stan, are you paying attention!? Yes, Mr. Garrison. Well the...
Sharon: What are you doing sweetheart?
Stan: Getting a cookie. We're gonna build a clubhouse and then were......
Sharon: You men are all alike. First you get a cookie, then you criticize the way I dress, and then the way I cook. I suppose next you'll tell me you need your space and that I'm sabotaging your creativity. Go ahead Stanly get your god damn cookie.
- Permalink: What are you doing sweetheart? Getting a cookie. We're gonna ...
Fat Abbot: Hey, Sally, why's your eye all black and blue and s***?
Sally: My stepfather hit me in the face
Fat Abbot: Stepfather?! You need to snatch his ass up in a beartrap so no one will find him for days!
- Permalink: Hey, Sally, why's your eye all black and blue and s***? My ste...
That's fine! I like playing with myself! I'll play with myself all day!Cartman
- Permalink: That's fine! I like playing with myself! I'll play with myself...
Fat Abbot: Hey, Hey, Hey. What's goin' on Rudy?
Rudy: Man Fat Abbot, you need to lose weight.
Fat Abbot: I'll lose weight when I feel like it bitch, shut you're bitch ass mouth hoe.
Rudy: Bitch! I'll kick yo ass.
Kyle: WHOA DUDE!
Fat Abbot: You think you slick you punk ass blasphemous dope-fiend bitch, I had my Jimmy waxed seven times last week, I'll bust a cap in you're *beep* ass *beep* head!
Kyle: Wow, cartoons are getting really dirty.
- Permalink: Hey, Hey, Hey. What's goin' on Rudy? Man Fat Abbot, you need t...
Mrs. Marsh: Did you find it?
Mr. Marsh: Give me a second would you.
Mrs. Marsh: Don't snap at me.
Mr. Marsh: I didn't snap at you!
Mrs. Marsh: You snapped at me!
Mr. Marsh: Whatever.
Mrs. Marsh: Whatever? In 15 years you've never said whatever to me.
Mr. Marsh: I don't want to fight I'm sorry.
Mrs. Marsh: I'm sorry too.
Mr. Marsh: Hey, I think I found it.
Mrs. Marsh: That's not it you idiot.
Mr. Marsh: HEY BACK OFF (beep)!
Mrs. Marsh: (Gasps) You just said the "C" word!
Mr. Marsh: ........Did I?
- Permalink: Did you find it? Give me a second would you. Don't snap at m...
Wow, cartoons are getting really dirty.Kyle
- Permalink: Wow, cartoons are getting really dirty.
Mr. Mackey: Young man, school is a time for learning, not for your immature skylarkings.
Mr. Mackey: You know, tomfooleries.
- Permalink: Young man, school is a time for learning, not for your immature ...
Wendy: Truth or dare?
Stan: (like Chef) Dare.
Bebe: I dare you to shove this twig up your pee-hole.
- Permalink: Truth or dare? Dare. I dare you to shove this twig up your ...