Kyle: Dude, why is your store called The Indian Burial Ground Pet Store?
Shop Owner: Well, there was an Indian burial ground here before I bought it.
Stan: So you just built your store on top of Indian burial ground?!
Shop Owner: Oh, hell no! First, I dug up all the bodies, pissed on 'em, and then buried them again upside-down.
Kyle: Why?
Shop Owner: Why? I don't know. I was drunk.

Sharon: Stanley look who's here, Aunt Flo.
Aunt Flo: Hello Stanley, remember me?
Stan: Hi Aunt Flo.
Sharon: Now Stanley, Aunt Flo only visits once a month. Be nice.

No you guys, murder is never the answer.

Evil Cartman

Chef: I hope you're ready for lunch children, because today I've got spooky spaghetti, and freaky french fries...
Stan: Uh, Chef?
Chef: ...and haunted hash browns, and a creepy cookie...
Kyle: Chef?
Chef: ...and monstrous milk, and a terrifying napkin!
Stan: CHEF!!


You guys a hella stupid,
You guys a hella lame,
You guys a hella dumb,
hella, hella, hella.

</i> Cartman

(When Mr. Garrison takes Mr. Twig to the hospital for his burns.
Mr. Garrison: Well, is he going to be all right doctor?
Doctor: Uh. It's a stick.

Chef told me to get a pompadour hat. I thought he said "bite the head of a bat" and the rest is history.

Ozzy

Well I'll be sodomized on Christmas!

Chef

Look Elton, you are a great singer, but a retarded monkey could write better lyrics.

Chef

Mr. Garrison: Mr- Mr. Twig, are you OK? Mr- Mr. Twig?
(He lifts up the covers and notices Mr. Twig broken)
Mr. Garrison: (Screams) MR. TWIG IS BROKEN IN HALF!! WHO DID THIS!? YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS, YOU BASTARD!!

Look at the monkey. Look at the silly little monkey. (Juror's head explodes)

Johnnie Cochran

Stan: Oh my god, Ozzy Osbourne bit Kenny's head off!
Kyle: You bastard!

South Park Season 2 Quotes

Dr. Doctor: We must split up into two teams: Team A and Team B. Team A will consist of myself, Stan, Kyle, Eric, Chef, and Nurse Goodly. Team B will consist of Kenny. Now, listen closely, Team B. Your goal will be to turn on the backup generator. To do this you must brave the storm outside and get into this sewage duct. Meanwhile, Team A will go to the holding area, here where there is a television, and some cocoa. We will drink the cocoa and watch family programming until Team B makes it through the sewage duct. By that time, Team B, remember that's you Kenny, should reach the outer core of the generator. It will be a cold and dangerous climb to the top, and there could be velociraptors here. Once you reach the top, you should be able to get a clear view from this window of us drinking cocoa and watching television. Then, you could proceed down into the generator, and power it on. Are there any questions?
Cartman: No, that sounds pretty sweet to me.
Dr. Doctor: Great, then, let's do it. Go, Team!
Kenny: (muffled) Huh?

Sucky sucky, five dollah. Ooh me so horny. Me love you long time.

Cartman