South Park

South Park Season 3 Quotes (Page 7)

Season 3 Episode 8: "Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub"

Man #1: Well, you know what I heard, I heard that he's gay.
Man #2: Oh, is he really?
Randy: Who?
Man: What?
Randy: Who did you hear is-is gay?
Man: Ricky Martin, the singer.
Randy: Oh.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pip: Which ladies' garments would you like, Stan?
Stan: Dude. I'm not wearing ladies clothes and I'm not playing Charlie's Angels. You guys are Melvins and I'm not one of you. So you go ahead and be Melvins and leave me alone!
Pip: Well. Alrighty, then.
 • Rating: Unrated

Butters: How come they're actin' that way, Stan? Huh? How come they're laughin' and falling down and such?
 • Rating: Unrated

Dougie: I like math.
 • Rating: Unrated

Randy: You can't just hang out with your buddy, Kyle, all the time. People will think you guys are, you know, funny.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pip: Can I be Jaclyn Smith? Can I?
Butters: No, uh, I get to be Jaclyn Smith. See, I thought of Charlie's Angels and I get to be Jaclyn Smith c-cause I thought of it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Butters: Hey what are we gonna do huh? They shot at us, they really shot at us. They ain't gonna stop until were all dead I betcha, us and all our families. (Stan slaps Butters)
Stan: Get a hold of yourself man!
Butters: How can you slap my face Stan, huh? Why on earth would you go do that anyway?
 • Rating: Unrated

(referring to Stan)
Dougie: Are you a sourpuss?
 • Rating: Unrated

Guests: Goodbye everyone.
(they leave the house)
Agent in Charge: Look out!
(ATF agents shoot everyone dead)
Agent in Charge: Hold your fire! Okay, people at the door, that was a warning. Go back inside and tell everyone that they have one minute to surrender.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Couple left Mackey's house)
Agent in charge: Hold it right there. Whatever it is you're attempting to do, do not do it.
Couple: . . .
Agent in Charge: Your freaky religious cult will not succeed in its plans.
Husband: What?
Agent in charge: Do not move or we'll...
(Couples shot dead)
Agent in charge: Goddamnit, who was that?
(some agents raised their hand)
Agent in charge: Did you see them move?
Agent 1: I did.
Agent 2: Yeah, yeah, they moved all right.
 • Rating: Unrated

Reporter: Setting the house on fire seemed a little dangerous, Commander.
Agent in Charge: It is, but we can't let them kill themselves.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: (watching the news) Wait a minute.
(Stan looks out the window and sees ATF tanks and attack helicopters)
Reporter: There are choppers here along with several tanks...
Stan: Dude, that's this house. They think our parents were the religious cults.
Reporter: We've just receieve photos from the recon team of the actions inside the house, (they show the picture of Stan looking out the window) showing there are indeed innocent children trap inside. Those sick cult fanatic bastards!
Stan: DUDE!
 • Rating: Unrated

Pip: Cheerio Stan, I do say, it's quite a nice surprise seeing you here.
Stan: Shut up Pip.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pip: We were just playing a game called 'Whickershams and Degglers.' Do you want to play?
Stan: No!
Pip: I'm the head whicker nicker, and you are all little whickershams. We all sing 'The Merry Tune of Stratford' until I say 'Terah!' And then you all fall down laughing, and I join you as I find it funny too.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mr. Garrison: Great party Mr. Mackey. Mr. Hat just grabbed Principal Victoria's ass.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pip: Are you sure you don't want to play Stan?
Stan: No!
Dougie: What are you. a sour puss?
Butters: You really ought play Stan, it's an awfully fun game. I've never been to England, but I bet the people are real nice. Are people nice in England Pip? I bet they are, huh? They got those big noses and all.
 • Rating: Unrated

Officer Barbrady: So what does the ATF do when religious fanatics are gonna commit mass suicide?
ATF Agent: Oh, don't worry, we won't let that happen. Even if it means we have to kill each and every one of them.
 • Rating: Unrated

Randy Marsh: Hey, if you watch another guy masturbate, does that make you gay?
Jimbo: What!?
Randy: Well, I just, I have this buddy, uh, he sat and watched this other guy play with himself.
Guest: Well, let's go kick his ass.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Butters: (To the adults) Why I'm awfully disappointed with you drinking and carrying on this way, why you should be ashamed of yourself. If you don't get outside right now and tell those Army guys that your not religious fantastics, there's gonna be heck to pay -- heck I tell ya.
 • Rating: Unrated

Butters: Oh dear God, they're gonna set us on fire. Oh great Jesus son of Mary, wife of Joseph! What are we gonna do, huh? Oh sweet Joseph, husband of Mary but not father of sweet Jesus.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

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