South Park

South Park Season 3 Quotes (Page 8)

Season 3 Episode 8: "Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub"

Stan: But you know, I learned something today. I used to call you guys 'Melvins,' but you're just kids, like me. We separate you in school because you talk different, or you study too hard, but we've proven tonight that we can all get along.
Butters: So you mean we can stay friends, Stan? Wouldn't that be swell, huh?
Kyle: (Walks up) Dude, I'm glad to see you. You would not believe the night I had.
Stan: You? You think you had a bad night; I had to hang out all night with these freaking Melvins!
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: Think you can hit the target, Pip?
Pip: Of course. I'll have you know I was Archery Esquire at Straffordshire.
Stan: Be sure to hit something nice and solid now.
(Pip hits the back of Barbrady's head.)
 • Rating: Unrated

Butters: Hey Stan, why I sure am glad you're here, because now we'll have even more fun then we... then we was having before. We were having an awfully good time before you showed up however.
 • Rating: Unrated

ATF Leader: (over a megaphone) Attention cult people, do not commit mass suicide. There are so many reason's not to kill yourselves. Flowers for instance and back rubs.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 7: "Cat Orgy"

Liane: The babysitter's here, come on downstairs.
Cartman: But, Mo-om, I'm playing Wild, Wild We-est!
Liane: I have to leave soon, Eric.
Cartman: But Ma-a-am! Me and Artemus Clyde Frog still have to do our love scene with Selma Hyea-a-ak!
 • Rating: Unrated

Skyler: How long do we know each other?
Shelly: Tomorrow it will be 8 days.
 • Rating: Unrated

Shelly: Nobody my age will go out with me because I'm too ugly!
Cartman: You're not ugly.
Shelly: You don't think so?
Cartman: Well, you're pretty ugly, but you don't have to be dating 22 year olds.
 • Rating: Unrated

Narrator on TV: The Male Lion now wants to be alone. he sends the female away an promises he will call her tomorrow. But the female won't leave. No, she is moving right in. Looks like the male lion is screwed.
 • Rating: Unrated

Skyler: Stupid stuffed animals trying to ruin my night!
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: (Doing his rendition of Wild Wild West) Well, I'm a badass cowboy living in a cowboy's age, whicky-whicky scratch yo-yo bang-bang. Me and Artemus Clyde Frog go save Salma Hayek from the big metal spider. Whicky-whicky-wick fresh, cowboy from the westside.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Shelly: They're having a cat orgy!
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: Look out, Artemus Clyde Frog! It's a giant metal spider!
(Tosses Clyde aside, aims at a plush spider hanging on the edge of his toy box and fires toy gun)
Cartman: Bang! Bangbang!
(Strafes and performs a cartwheel)
Cartman: Yoyoyo, jiggity jiggy with it! Bang bang bang!
(He Tosses a baseball at the spider and knocks it out of the box)
Cartman: We saved the day! The Wild Wild West, The Wild Wild Wild West. Uhyo wicky wicky scratch, Uh wicky wicky scratch
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: ( as "Artemus" Clyde Frog) If we save her, I am going to take off her pants and play Slip'N'Slide!
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: (approaches Shelley) Well, go put that pizza in the oven, b*tch! I'm hungry! (she punches him into the wall) Ow!
Shelley: Alright, turd, listen up! Now that your mom is gone, I'm in charge. I don't know how you treat your other babysitters, but when I'm babysitting, you're nothing but a little turd. You're a stinky dried-up stupid turd! Got it?!
Cartman: You can't hit me! Didn't you see those nanny videos on TV? (she punches him, sending him into the wall again)
Shelley: My boyfriend is coming over, so you go to the kitchen, and you make us that pizza before I snap you in half like the little turd-stick you are!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lianne: Oh, that sounds fine. I'm going to a meteor shower party. The number where I'll be is on the refrigerator. Eric's nookie time is 9 o'clock sharp. If his little woogums get cold, you can turn up the heat over here. And if he gets cranky, just play tummy-rub-rubs with him, and make sure he wipes good after he makes bears.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lianne: Thank you so much for babysitting little Eric, Shelley.
Shelley:(shrugs)Okay.
Lianne: All those other babysitters wouldn't come back.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 6: "Sexual Harassment Panda"

Pig with scissors: Oink! Oink! "Be sure you run around with scissors" says Oinky The Run Around With Scissors Pig!
Cartman: I thought you weren't supposed to run around with scissors.
Worm: That's why he's on the Island of Misfit Mascots.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Sexual Harassment Panda: That makes me a saaaaaaaaad panda.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Another misfit mascot: Hello kids, I'm happy the 'don't do stuff that might irritate your inner ear' badger.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Sexual Harassment Panda: But I'm just a panda.
Kyle: No your not dude, you're a guy in a panda costume!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

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