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South-park

Kyle: (After Timmy coming back from time) Dude! It looks like Timmy went all over time! He must have alot to tell us!
(pause)
Timmy: Ih, Timmy.

I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.

Butters

Stan: This is it the end of innocence this is the loss of that playful youth that all are parents warned us about
Kyle: I just didn't think it come so soon.
Cartman: Yeah, only now do we realize how we took the 3rd grade for granted.
Kyle: Huh?
Cartman: Everything was great in 3rd grade and now that it's all over we're starting to see how special it was
Cartman: (starts singing) Remember how it used to be? In the 3rd grade we used to laugh and play and cherish each day, in the 3rd grade we learned wondrous things with a teacher so nice sat on marshmallow desks with teddy bear smiles the world all seem to make sense but that sense seemed slowly but, seemed to fade after 3rd grade. In 3rd grade we used to write with crayons we would make sparkly pictures with glitter and glue we had warm cookies and hearts full of love and it wasn't a care in the world for me or for you. There's not in this life that I wouldn't trade just to go back for 1 minute to 3rd grade.
(Clyde starts crying)

Cartman: Suck my balls.
Ms. Choksondik: Present them.
Cartman: What?
Ms. Choksondik: Present: Whip them out and I'll suck 'em.

I'm gay! I'm gay as a gymnast on shore leave!

Mr. Garrison

Brother Stevens brought his guitar so we can sing songs about how much it hurts to lie.

</i> Mormon

Cartman: (preaching) Right here we have a little girl who is very, very ugly. Do you believe He is going to cure your face of the uglies?
Ugly girl: Yes!
Cartman: He's going to take that face and make you reasonable to look at!

(while "healing" Kyle) Right now, all the Jew-ness is coming out of your body!

Cartman

We're going to do a play about how alcohol can ruin family life.

Mormon

I just came here because I needed closure!

Satan

Satan: (finishing his explanation of his problem to God) and now Chris and Saddam just keep killing each other over and over, and I don't know which one to pick.
God: (pause) Jesus, what the hell happened to you?
Satan: Huh?
God: You got kicked outta here for being a head-strong rebel, and now you're a whiny little bitch.

Friends, I have to tell you that last night, I received a phone call from beyond the grave! It was our departed friend Kenny...calling from the depths of hell. And he described what hell is like in horrid detail. He said that in hell, the smell is awful...he said that in hell, everyone speaks Spanish. (crowd gasps) He said that there is water in hell, but if you drink it, you pee blood out your ass for seven hours! And perhaps worst of all, in hell there are dozens and dozens of little trinket stores; but they all have the same little trinkets in them!

Cartman
Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 285 in total

South Park Season 4 Quotes

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

</i> Cartman

Kyle: But you know, I've learned something today. You see, the basis of all reasoning is the mind's awareness of itself. What we think, the external objects we perceive, are all like actors that come on and off stage. But our consciousness, the stage itself, is always present to us.
Cartman: Tits.

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