The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Bart: Hey everybody, If you look real close, you can kinda make him out!
Homer: Hey yeah yeah! I think I can!
Marge: I think this is sick they're staring at a dot!
Homer: She's right! She's right! Oh I miss TV, dear God! Just give me one channel.

Teacher: Simpson! Be quiet!
Homer: I haven't seen you in school before...
Teacher: Okay Simpson! You just brought yourself another day of detention!
Homer: Maybe we should get together some time
Teacher: Two days!
Marge: I'm sorry, I don't even know your name!
Homer: I'm Homer
Teacher: Three days!
Homer: Jay
Teacher: Four days!
Homer: Simpson
Teacher: Five days!
Homer: It was worth it!
Teacher: Six days... Okay Simpson, to the back of the room!

(Picture on television goes haywire)
Bart: Hey, what gives?
Lisa: Dad! Do something!
Homer: Alright, alright. Time for Doctor TV to perform a little surgery! (Bangs on the TV and the picture gets worse.)
Bart: Looks like you lost the patient, Doc.

Me in a nuclear power plant? (Laughs) Kaboom!

Homer

Hello classmates. Instead of voting for some athletic hero, or a pretty boy, you have elected me, your intellectual superior as your king. Good for you!

Artie Ziff

Dr. Hibbert: Um, your wife agreed that I should break this to you.
Homer: No need, Doc. I can read Marge like a book. (Looks at Marge, who is very glum.)
Marge: Hmm.
Homer: Ooh, it's good news, isn't it?

Chefs: (All yell in Japanese.)
Simpsons: Aaaah!
Waitress: Please, do not be alarmed, our chefs are just saying hello.
Homer: Oh, okay. Hello!

Homer: If I said `no' the first time, what makes you think I'm going to say `yes' the second time?
Lisa: Nothing, but you may say `yes' the ninety-ninth time.
Homer: Oh? Try me.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: Oh, okay, okay.

Homer: Poison? What should I do, what should I do? Tell me, quick.
Chef: Oh, no need to panic. There's a map to the hospital on the back of the menu.

(Imitating Lisa) Try something new, Homer! What'll it hurt you, Homer? (Regular voice) I never heard of a poison pork chop!

</i> Homer

Goodbye, Maggie. Stay as sweet as you are. Goodbye, Lisa. I know you'll make me proud. Goodbye, Bart. ... I like your sheets.

Homer

Moe: Hello, Moe's Tavern. Birthplace of the Rob Roy.
Bart: Is Seymour there? Last name Butts.
Moe: Just a sec. Hey, is there a Butts here? A Seymour Butts? Hey, everybody, I wanna Seymour Butts! Wait a minute... Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket! When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna pull out your eyeballs with a corkscrew!

Displaying quotes 145 - 156 of 350 in total

The Simpsons Season 2 Quotes

(Homer tries to retrieve the angry letter that Bart accidentally put in the mail.)
Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
P.O. Worker: Okay, Mr. Burns. What's your first name?
Homer: I...don't know.

Mrs. Glick: Here, have some ribbon candy. Boys love candy!
Bart: No thanks!
Mrs. Glick: Boys love candy!
Bart: Ueeeh. I think I'd just rather get to work m'am.

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