Two and a Half Men Season 9 Quotes
Begging never gets you anywhere. I say this having spent more time on my knees than any straight man in America.
Alan
When i was in high school, I was dating a poster of Molly Ringwald.
Alan
You're young, you're rich, you got a face that gives women an erection.
Alan
Alan: Ooh package, how exciting. What could it be?
Delivery Guy: It's from a crematorium so that kind of narrows it down.
Walden: Trust me, money doesn't buy happiness.
Alan: I wouldn't know, I've never had either.
Just like old times. I'm talking and you're in a bottle ignoring me.
Alan [to urn]
