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Two-and-a-half-men

Alan: The first thousand miles is the break-in period. You're not supposed to go over 65.
Charlie: Well, then go 65.
Alan: The speed limit is 60! You want me to get a ticket?
Charlie: Alan, you're driving an expensive red sports car. If you're not getting tickets and tail you might as well take the bus... which, by the way, just passed us


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Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 22 Quotes, Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 22 Quotes

Jake: How come it's a secret that dad is on a date?
Charlie: Eh, it's not a secret, it's just never a good idea to tell a woman more than they need to know
Jake: How come?
Charlie: Because we love them and want to protect them. A clueless woman is a happy woman

Alan [about his mother and Trudy's father]: Apparently your father mixed his heart medication with his Viagra, and they didn't want to waste the opportunity.
Trudy: So he's not coming?
Alan: Well...

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