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Alan: When Judith was pregnant with Jake, I don't know if it was hormones or pheromones, but she just couldn't get enough of me. And ever since then, every time I see a pregnant woman I just... [lustful moan]
Charlie: Okay, seriously, you got to stop that.
Alan: I am telling you, it was nine months of the hottest sex we've ever had, even with the morning sickness and hemorrhoids.
Charlie: Oh. Maybe that explains Jake's grades.
Alan: The morning sickness and hemorrhoids?
Charlie: No, the repeated blows to his unformed head