Charlie: Why do I keep thinking I see her?
Jake: Maybe you miss her.
Charlie: I don't think so. I was a little down when she left, which is to be expected, but I've got Linda now. I moved on. And what the hell am I doing talking to you about my personal life?
Jake: Cause I'm a good listener? Cause you have no other friends? Ha, ha.

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Charlie Harper Quotes, Jake Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 4 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 4 Quotes

Jake: I started algebra.
Alan: Oh, really? How do you like it?
Jake: Eh, I don't get it at all, but the teacher's really hot.
Alan: Really?
Jake: Yeah, she's got some really great racks.
Alan: Um, don't you mean "rack"?
Jake: No, she's got two, and they're ginormous!

Alan: Oh, hey, how was Santa Barbara?
Jake: Santa Barbra? It's Spanish for "city of great racks."