"That Darn Priest"

Rose learns the truth behind Alan's Ponzi scheme, while he finally "meets" Manny.

  • 3.7 / 5.0
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"Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak"

Charlie and Rose continue their affair, while Alan takes Ponzi scheme investments into his Chiropractor business.

  • 3.5 / 5.0
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"Lookin' for Japanese Subs"

Charlie becomes obsessed with the recently married Rose; Jake and Eldridge try and make their own homemade Jackass.

  • 3.7 / 5.0
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"Skunk, Dog, Crap and Ketchup"

When Charlie and Lyndsey become friends, Alan's jealousy gets the better of him.

  • 4.0 / 5.0
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"Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead"

When Charlie and Courtney break up, Charlie falls into a depression and goes to see his old psychiatrist.

  • 4.5 / 5.0
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"Dead from the Waist Down"

When Alan can't afford to buy Lyndsey a present, he gets creative.

  • 4.0 / 5.0
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"Ow, Ow, Don't Stop"

Courtney (Jenny McCarthy) returns after spending three years in prison for conning Charlie out of money.

  • 3.5 / 5.0
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"A Good Time in Central Africa"

While Berta goes on vacation, Charlie gets a replacement; Alan thinks Lyndsey's ex (Judd Nelson) is stalking him.

  • 3.8 / 5.0
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"Springtime on a Stick"

Charlie and Alan try to set their mother up with Russell (Martin Mull), the pharmacist.

  • 3.2 / 5.0
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"The Crazy Bitch Gazette"

Rose returns and Charlie's new girlfriend, Michelle (Liz Vassey) can't deal with her stalking.

  • 4.5 / 5.0
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Two and a Half Men Quotes

Jake: Can I go back to mom's tomorrow?
Alan: Why?
Jake: I want to hang out with my friends.
Alan: What, all of a sudden your father's not good enough for you?
Jake: It's not "all of a sudden."

Alan: Since when do you have a wet suit?
Charlie: Since I moved to the beach and noticed it was full of hot surfer chicks. If I lived next to Jellystone Park I'd have a bear suit and a picnic basket