Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two-and-a-half-men

Walden: If I weren't here, would you be masturbating?
Alan: Are you kidding? I'd be done and fixing a sandwich.


Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 (1 Vote)
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Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes, Walden Schmidt Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 Quotes

Alcohol is just a bandage for the problem. I know this because I used to live with the mummy.

Alan

Lyndsey: I'm so full it'd be like sticking a pin in a balloon.
Alan: Can we please not call it a pin?

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