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Two-and-a-half-men

Charlie: I'm gonna grab my keys, and we'll head to the hospital.
Jake: I don't want to go to a hospital!
Charlie: Did I say hospital? I meant Disneyland


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Related Quotes:
Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 17 Quotes, Charlie Harper Quotes, Jake Harper Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 17 Quotes

Charlie: No, you don't understand. He fell on his head. He's bleeding.
Nurse: Okay. Follow my finger. [moves her finger in front of his face] He's gonna be fine.
Charlie: That's it? He's fine? That's not a medical test. That's how you hypnotize a chicken!

Charlie [holding Jake's hand as he gets stitches]: It's okay, buddy, I'm right here with you. Go ahead, Doc.
Jake: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Charlie: Hey, go easy on the kid!
Jake: No, you're squishing my hand!
Charlie: Oh. Sorry. Did you feel the shot?
Jake: No.
Charlie: You're welcome.
Doctor: Perhaps you'd prefer to wait outside.
Charlie: I'd prefer a morphine drip and a sponge bath, but the kid needs me!

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