South Park

South Park Season 3 Quotes (Page 11)

Season 3 Episode 4: "Jackovasaurus"

(Upon discovering Joon-joon)
Jimbo: Well this is a whole new species of creature! Ned, go call the mayor's office- oh that's right, you can't talk! (laughs)
 • Rating: Unrated

(Cartman walks into Jakov's house)
Cartman: Hey Jakov!
(Canned audience laughter)
Cartman: Who the hell is that?
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: I have authoritah?
Minister #3 Yes, and people must respect it.
Stan: Oh no. Nothing's worse than Cartman with authoritah.
 • Rating: Unrated

TV Shopping Host: It's got a dragon painted right on the blade...
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kyle: This is sweet being rugged outdoorsmen. Facing the wilderness, not having to be home until 8:30.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: God, I'm glad you guys know all these pooping-outside rules.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jimbo: Ah Ned don't burp talk. That just sicks me out.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mayor McDaniels: First question: What color is blue?
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: Well it looks like Cartman has finally found something as annoying as he is.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mephisto: I have managed to artificially inseminate Hope with Jakov's semen.
Jakov: I have seamen? Where's their boat?
 • Rating: Unrated

Department of Interior Guy #2: (about Joon-Joon) This one Jakovasaur could mother an entire population of the animals.
Lady: Well, in that case, I think we should name it... Hope.
Random Guy #1: Hope.
Random Guy #2: Yes, Hope.
Joon-Joon: Meesa name "Joon-Joon".
Stan: I think its name is "Joon-Joon".
 • Rating: Unrated

Jimbo: (about Jakovasaur) Well, let's kill it.
Cartman: No, don't.
Jimbo: Huh?
Cartman: I like it.
Kyle: You don't like anything Cartman.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: (about Jackov) He's the last of his kind you guys, there's only two of them left.
Kyle: Did you smoke some of your mom's crack?
Cartman: Will you stop with the 'mom smoking crack' thing, it's an old joke.
Jackov: Eric, do you have any more cookies?
Stan: Who's that, one of your mom's boyfriends?
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: (laughs) Isn't he funny guys?
Stan: No, he's annoying.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jimbo: Hey Ned, look what I got you: a new voicebox! (Ned reaches for it, but Jimbo blocks it) You want it? You want it? Here you go!
Ned: (Irish accent) Jimbo, I can't thank you enough for the new voicebox! What in the devil is this, then?
Jimbo: Sorry, Ned. I must have picked up the irish model by mistake.
Ned: Oh, what a bloody pickle this is. Did you keep the receipt, then?
(A man walks in)
Man: Jimbo, Ned, come quick!
Jimbo: What's going on?
Man: They've found another Jakovasaur!
Ned: Blimey.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 3: "The Succubus"

Cartman: (blind, right next to Kenny's smushed corpse) What happened, you guys? Is Kenny okay?
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: I swear if you call me 'Piggy' one more time, I will rip your balls off with my bare hands!
Eye doctor: Piggy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Eye doctor: 1 or 2?
(shows a selection of girls)
Cartman: 1.
Eye doctor: 1 or 2?
(1 is an apple, 2 is a chocolate cake slice)
Cartman: 2.
Eye doctor: Goddammit, it's 1!
 • Rating: Unrated

Chef's Father: Dammit, monster, I ain't givin you no treefiddy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: Wait, you guys. Maybe... is it possible... that we're just jealous because Chef is our friend, and now he's paying attention to somebody new?
(Silence)
Kyle: Yeah, so?
Stan: Yeah, screw that bitch.
Cartman: Bitch, I hate that bitch!
 • Rating: Unrated

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