The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 2 Quotes (Page 9)

Season 2 Episode 11: "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

Homer: Okay, okay, where do want to go?
Lisa: Anywhere but hamburgers, pizza, or fried chicken!
Homer: Fine! We'll go to Mars!
 • Rating: Unrated

Toshiro: Master, you are needed in the kitchen.
Master Chef: I said cover for me, damn it!
Toshiro: But, Master, we need your skilled hands.
Master Chef: My skilled hands are busy! You do it!
 • Rating: Unrated

Japanese waitress: This is our karaoke bar. Now it is empty but soon it will be hopping with drunken, Japanese business men.
 • Rating: Unrated

(While Marge appears to be tossing a salad Homer watches the microwave.)
Homer: Is it done yet? Is it done yet?
Marge: Your meatloaf will be ready in eight seconds, Homer.
Homer: D'oh! Isn't there anything faster than a microwave?
(Homer watches dinner cook)
Homer: Four three two one Bing! We have meatloaf!
 • Rating: Unrated

(Homer looks over the menu.)
Homer: There's got to be something I haven't tried. Huh? Hey, hey, what's this? Fugu!
Akira: (Gasps.) It is a blowfish, sir. But I should warn you that one-
Homer: Come on, pal. Fugu me!
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Hibbert: Um, your wife agreed that I should break this to you.
Homer: No need, Doc. I can read Marge like a book. (Looks at Marge, who is very glum.)
Marge: Hmm.
Homer: Ooh, it's good news, isn't it?
 • Rating: Unrated

(Homer and Barney drive by Mr. Burns, who is sitting on a park bench.)
Homer: Hey, Burns, eat my shorts! (They drive off)
Mr. Burns: Who the Sam Hill was that?
Smithers: (Looking through binoculars.) Why, it's Homer Simpson, sir. One of the schmoes from Sector 7G.
Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh? I want him in my office at nine o'clock Monday morning. We'll see who eats whose shorts.
 • Rating: Unrated

Toshiro: (Looking at a diagram of the blowfish) Poison poison tasty fish!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: I just want you to know that I love you, Dad.
Grampa: You do?
Homer: Uh-huh.
Grampa: Oh, son, I love you too. Hey, how about a hug?
(Homer and Abe hug)
Homer: Dad!
Grampa: Sonny boy!
Homer: Papa!
Grampa: Junior!
Homer: My old man.
(Homer crosses "Make peace with Dad" on his list.)
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 10: "Bart Gets Hit by a Car"

Dr. Nick: Bad news. Your son is a very sick boy. Just look at the X-rays. See that dark spot there? Whiplash.
Homer: Whiplash? Oh no!
Dr. Nick: And this smudge here that looks like my fingerprint? No, that's trauma.
Bart: Am I going to die?
Homer: (Sobbing) Yes! You're going to die!
Marge: Homer!
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Hey, cool, I'm dead.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: Excuse me, Mr. Hutz. Are you a shyster?
Lionel Hutz: How does a nice little girl like you know a big word like that?
 • Rating: Unrated

Lionel Hutz: Hutz is the name, Mr. Simpson. Lionel Hutz, attorney at law. Here's my card. It turns into a sponge when you put it in water.
Homer: Ooh, classy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Devil: According to this, you're not due to arrive here the next time the Yankees win the pennant; that's nearly a century from now. (Chuckles) Boy, is my face red.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: I did go away, mom, I was miles and miles and miles away. Dying in agony in the pits of hell. And you were there! And you, and you, and you... and you I've never seen before!
Homer: (to Lionel Hutz) Yeah who are you anyway? I saw you chasing Bart's ambulance.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lenny: Hey, Simpson, I heard Mr. Burns crushed your boy!
Homer: Yeah, if I wasn't so spineless, I'd march right into his office right now, and...
Smithers: Simpson! Mr. Burns wants you to march into his office right now
Homer: Uh-oh!
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Hmm, well, to be honest, he seemed a lot more concerned about wrapping Bart in bandages than in making him feel better. And he mispronounced words that even I know, like abdomen... and his office was dirty. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure if he was even a doctor!
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Homer, I'd like you to forgive me for doing the right thing, we've squabbled over money before. I mean, I know this is different than the time I washed your pants with the 20 in the pocket.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lawyer: Your Honor, my client has instructed me to remind the court how rich and important he is, and that he is not like other men.
Mr. Burns: I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: I'm sorry, but my mother said, if you can't say anything nice about someone, you shouldn't say anything at all.
Homer: Will that hold up in court?
Lionel Hutz: No, I've tried it before.
 • Rating: Unrated

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