Over, under, in and out, that's what shoe tying is all about.

Principal Skinner

My name is Otto; I love to get blotto.

Otto

Judge: Your license is hereby revoked and you are to attend traffic school and two months of AA meetings.
Homer: Your honor, I'd like that last remark stricken from the record.
Judge: No.

To lift the spider's curse, simply recite a Bible verse. Uh... Thou shalt not... Oh, the hell with it. (Homer, throws a rock at the spider's head.)

Homer

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.

Homer

Moe: C'mon, Homer, do it for your old pal Moesy.
Barney: But Moe, yesterday you called Homer a worthless sack of --
Moe: Pipe down, rub-a-dub!

When I was 17,
I drank some very good beer.
I drank some very good beer,
I purchased with a fake ID.
My name was Brian McGee.
I stayed up listening to Queen, when I was 17.

Homer

Moe: You'll be back!!! And you, And you (to Barney). And you.
Barney: Of course I'll be back, if you didn't close I'd never leave!

Lionel Hutz: Don't worry, Homer. I have a fool proof strategy to get you out of here: surprise witnesses, each more surprising than the last. I tell you, the judge won't know what hit him!

Lisa: I've grown a futuristic tomato by fertilizing it with anabolic steroids.
Bart: The kind that help our Olympic athletes reach new peaks of excellence?
Lisa: The very same.

Well, Edna, for a school with no Asian kids, I think we put on a pretty darn good science fair.

Principal Skinner

Homer: All right, starting tomorrow no beer for a month.
(Marge turns off the light and Homer opens a can, audibly)
Marge: What was that noise?
Homer: I was saying, "Psssst, I love you."

The Simpsons Season 4 Quotes

Homer: Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.
Marge: Are you going to eat it?
Homer: (short silence) ...Yes.

Bart: Remember when Tom had you in that headlock and you screamed, "I'm a hemophiliac!," and when he let you go, you kicked him in the back?
Homer: Yeah.
Bart: Will you teach me how to do that?
Homer: Sure, boy. First, you gotta shriek like a woman and keep sobbing until he turns away in disgust. That's when it's time to kick some back. And then when he's lying down on the ground,...
Bart: Yeah.
Homer: Kick him in the ribs.
Bart: Yeah.
Homer: Step on his neck.
Bart: Yeah.
Homer: And run like hell.