Over, under, in and out, that's what shoe tying is all about.

Principal Skinner

My name is Otto; I love to get blotto.

Otto

Judge: Your license is hereby revoked and you are to attend traffic school and two months of AA meetings.
Homer: Your honor, I'd like that last remark stricken from the record.
Judge: No.

To lift the spider's curse, simply recite a Bible verse. Uh... Thou shalt not... Oh, the hell with it. (Homer, throws a rock at the spider's head.)

Homer

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.

Homer

Moe: C'mon, Homer, do it for your old pal Moesy.
Barney: But Moe, yesterday you called Homer a worthless sack of --
Moe: Pipe down, rub-a-dub!

When I was 17,
I drank some very good beer.
I drank some very good beer,
I purchased with a fake ID.
My name was Brian McGee.
I stayed up listening to Queen, when I was 17.

Homer

Moe: You'll be back!!! And you, And you (to Barney). And you.
Barney: Of course I'll be back, if you didn't close I'd never leave!

Lionel Hutz: Don't worry, Homer. I have a fool proof strategy to get you out of here: surprise witnesses, each more surprising than the last. I tell you, the judge won't know what hit him!

Lisa: I've grown a futuristic tomato by fertilizing it with anabolic steroids.
Bart: The kind that help our Olympic athletes reach new peaks of excellence?
Lisa: The very same.

Well, Edna, for a school with no Asian kids, I think we put on a pretty darn good science fair.

Principal Skinner

Homer: All right, starting tomorrow no beer for a month.
(Marge turns off the light and Homer opens a can, audibly)
Marge: What was that noise?
Homer: I was saying, "Psssst, I love you."

The Simpsons Season 4 Quotes

Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and um Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

Homer

Tonight, on Wings... Ah, who cares?

TV Announcer