The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Over, under, in and out, that's what shoe tying is all about.

Principal Skinner

My name is Otto; I love to get blotto.

Otto

Judge: Your license is hereby revoked and you are to attend traffic school and two months of AA meetings.
Homer: Your honor, I'd like that last remark stricken from the record.
Judge: No.

To lift the spider's curse, simply recite a Bible verse. Uh... Thou shalt not... Oh, the hell with it. (Homer, throws a rock at the spider's head.)

Homer

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.

Homer

Moe: C'mon, Homer, do it for your old pal Moesy.
Barney: But Moe, yesterday you called Homer a worthless sack of --
Moe: Pipe down, rub-a-dub!

When I was 17,
I drank some very good beer.
I drank some very good beer,
I purchased with a fake ID.
My name was Brian McGee.
I stayed up listening to Queen, when I was 17.

Homer

Moe: You'll be back!!! And you, And you (to Barney). And you.
Barney: Of course I'll be back, if you didn't close I'd never leave!

Lionel Hutz: Don't worry, Homer. I have a fool proof strategy to get you out of here: surprise witnesses, each more surprising than the last. I tell you, the judge won't know what hit him!

Lisa: I've grown a futuristic tomato by fertilizing it with anabolic steroids.
Bart: The kind that help our Olympic athletes reach new peaks of excellence?
Lisa: The very same.

Well, Edna, for a school with no Asian kids, I think we put on a pretty darn good science fair.

Principal Skinner

Homer: All right, starting tomorrow no beer for a month.
(Marge turns off the light and Homer opens a can, audibly)
Marge: What was that noise?
Homer: I was saying, "Psssst, I love you."

Displaying quotes 109 - 120 of 396 in total

The Simpsons Season 4 Quotes

(singing) God said to Noah, there's gonna be a floody-floody. Rain came down, it started to get muddy, muddy. Get those animals, out of the arky-arky.

Flanders Family

Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and um Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

Homer