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Two-and-a-half-men

# Charlie: You ever see a kid at school who doesn't like his lunch, but he won't let you have it. either?
Jake: Oh, yeah, Russell Beasley. He'll spit on his apple cobbler before he'll let anybody else eat it.
Charlie: Well, this is pretty much the same deal, except your Mom is Russell Beasley, and your Dad is the spit-covered cobbler.
Jake: I don't understand.
Charlie: Even though your mom doesn't want your dad, she doesn't want Kandi to eat him, either.
Jake: Oh. You know, I like cobbler with ice cream.
Charlie: Way to follow a train of thought.
Jake: Thanks.

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