Family Guy

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Family Guy Season 3

"When You Wish Upon a Weinstein"

Peter prays for a Jewish guy to help him with his money woes and after befriending a Jewish accountant, Max Weinstein, Peter wants Chris to convert to guarantee his success in life.

"Family Guy Viewer Mail #1"

Brian and Stewie host an episode of Family Guy with three stories from fan requested stories: No Bones About It, Supergriffins and Li'l Griffins.

"Road to Europe"

Stewie becomes obsessed with a British kids show and runs away to join the cast and Brian chases after him. Peter and Lois go to see a KISS concert.

"Stuck Together, Torn Apart"

Peter becomes jealous of Lois reuniting with an old boyfriend and the two go through a trial separation where he hooks up with Jennifer Love Hewitt. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian get stuck together after Stewie plays with industrial strength glue.

"From Method to Madness"

When Stewie signs up for an acting class, he's paired up with a stuck-up child star, Olivia. Meanwhile, Peter and Lois object to Meg dating a nudist.

"Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows"

After getting a DUI, Brian is forced to care for a bitter old woman that used to be a jingle singer. Meanwhile, Peter grows a beard and discovers a family of rare swallows living in it.

"A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas"

When Christmas doesn't go as planned, Lois goes beserk, while Stewie agrees to be baby Jesus in the town play to convince Santa he was good.

"Ready, Willing, and Disabled"

Joe feels discourage after losing a thief in a chase so Peter enrolls him in a handicapped decathalon to get him his confidence back. Meanwhile, Chris, Meg and Stewie fight over $26 found in a money clip.

"Peter Griffin: Husband, Father...Brother?"

While teaching Chris about his Irish heritage, Peter discovers he has a black ancestor and that he was a slave to Lois' family. Meanwhile, Stewie attempts to learn mind control from the school cheerleaders.

"Screwed The Pooch"

The family goes to visit Lois' parents, the Pewterschmidts, where Brian ends up sleeping with their prize-winning greyhound, Sea Breeze.

"To Love and Die in Dixie"

When Chris picks a robber out of a lineup, the Griffins are placed in a witness protection program in the south. Chris makes a new friend in Sam, while Peter questions a local Civil War re-enactment.

"Emission Impossible"

Peter goes with Lois to visit her sister Carole, who is alone and pregnant since her husband walked out on her. After Peter helps Carole deliver her baby, he and Lois decided to have another child.

"Fish Out of Water"

Peter, still unemployed, takes a job as a fishermen and buys a boat at a police auction. Meanwhile, Lois attempts to cheer up Meg on a spring break trip where she gets all the attention.

"Mr. Saturday Knight"

When Peter's boss dies after having dinner at the Griffin house, Peter loses his job and joins the traveling Renaissance Fair as a knight.

"The Kiss Seen Around the World"

Meg's crush on Tom Tucker has her apply for an internship at the local television station only to find out her partner is the nerdy Neil. Meanwhile, Stewie's new tricycle is stolen by a bully and Stewie teaches him a lesson.

"Lethal Weapons"

Bonnie convinces Lois to join her Tae-Jitsu class, while New York "leafers" invade Quahog to look at the leaves in the fall. Lois quickly becomes a blackbelt and Peter uses her new found skills to scare away New Yorkers.

"Death Lives"

Peter sneaks away on his anniversary to go play golf where he is struck by lightning and nearly dies. Death agrees to give Peter a revelation about his marriage if Peter helps score him a date.

"And the Wiener is..."

When Peter discovers Chris has a larger penis than him, he tries to compensate with a new car and joining a gun club. Peter eventually takes him out to a father-son hunting trip where Chris saves the day. Meg finds herself the target of the cool girls when she joins the flag squad.

"One If By Clam, Two If By Sea"

When a hurricane strikes Quahog, everything id destroyed except The Drunken Clam, which is purchased by a Nigel who turns it into an English pub. Nigel also becomes Peter's new neighbor and Stewie tries to teach their daughter to speak "proper English."

"Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington"

Peter's toy company gets bought by El Dorado Cigarette company and they begin using the toys to market cigarettes to kids. Peter talks to his new bosses about his disgust, and they end up promoting him president to shut him up.

"Brian Does Hollywood"

The Griffins learn Brian left for Hollywood, and after trying out for Kids Say the Darndest Things, Stewie wins the family a free trip to Los Angeles to visit him.

"The Thin White Line"

Brian ends up taking a job as a drug sniffing dog and ends up with a cocaine problem. Brian checks into rehab where they tell him Peter is his problem so he takes off to spend some time away from the Griffins.

Show:
Season:
3
Air Dates:
to
Total Episodes:
22

Family Guy Season 3 Quotes

Brian: So I see you got a new receptionist. Nice little body on her, huh?
Therapist: That's my daughter.
Brian: Well, we could probably call this an early day, huh?

Rehab Counselor: Wait a minute, Brian, you have a pre-existing relationship with this degenerate?
Peter: A degenerate, am I? Well, you are a festisio! See? I can make up words too, sister