Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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Charlie: Anyway, she said I have to resolve the conflict because my emotions are strongly attached to my lower intestine
Alan: That makes a certain amount of sense. You think with your penis and your heads up your ass


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Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 1 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 1 Quotes

Alan: You plan on kicking me out when mom dies?
Charlie: You plan on being here when mom dies?

Jake [about his sister]: So far she eats, she poops and she sleeps. I'm not impressed
Berta: Give her a bad hair cut and she'd be you
Jake: Excuse you, I paid $9 for this haircut
Berta: Sorry