I am not comfortable with this. Maybe I should go and wait in th...
Alan: I am not comfortable with this. Maybe I should go and wait in the car.
Charlie: You're not waiting in the car. Trust me, this is a great way to meet women.
Alan: I don't wanna meet women. I'm still married.
Charlie: C'mon. Your wife is out meeting chicks, why shouldn't you?
Jake [singing]: ...it's the sweetest breakfast treat, it's maple-maple-maplelicious.
Hot Chick: Your son is just adorable.
Alan: Oh. Thank you.
Hot Chick: You and your... life partner must be so proud.
Charlie: You're right. Go wait in the car!
- Charlie Harper, Alan Harper, Jake Harper
- Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 1: "Pilot"
- Two and a Half Men
- Related Quotes:
- Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes, Jake Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
- Added by:
- Eric Hochberger
Jake: If drinking makes you feel bad, why do you drink?
Charlie: Nobody likes a smart ass, kid.
Jake: You have to put a dollar in the swear jar. You said "ass."
Charlie: Tell you what. Here's a twenty. That ought to cover me until lunch
- Permalink: If drinking makes you feel bad, why do you drink? Nobody likes...
Woman [to Charlie about Jake]: You guys are really great together.
Woman: Your wife must be proud.
Charlie: Oh, no, I'm not married.
Woman: Too bad.
Charlie: Wow, you're even better than a dog
- Permalink: You guys are really great together. Thanks. Your wife must b...