Ted: We're working on a contract for solar-powered ovens, which the military plans to air-drop into remote villages as a goodwill gesture. It'll be the only thing the military drops that doesn't kill people. The problem is...
Lem: It kills people.
Phil: The plastic we're using leaches toxins into food.
Lem: However, the toxins are only released when the ovens are exposed to sunlight.
Phil: Which is the only time solar ovens work.
Veronica: Some days, it seems like everything we do leaches toxins


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Characters:
Ted Crisp, Veronica Palmer, Phil Mymen, Lem Hewitt
Episode:
Better Off Ted Season 1 Episode 5: "Win Some, Dose Some"
Show:
Better Off Ted
Related Quotes:
Ted Crisp Quotes, Veronica Palmer Quotes, Phil Mymen Quotes, Lem Hewitt Quotes, Better Off Ted Season 1 Episode 5 Quotes, Better Off Ted Quotes
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Better Off Ted Season 1 Episode 5 Quotes

My daughter is selling wrapping paper to raise money for her school. Whoever sells the most wins a trip to Disneyland. Second prize gets to cry while Rose and I go to Disneyland

Ted

Phil: I win! This is the most fun anyone has ever had with hypodermic needles.
Lem: It's not over yet. It's still wobbling. And it can't come out for at least a minute. Same rules as for losing your virginity