Better Off Ted Season 1

"Secrets and Lives"

The team learns a shocking secret about Veronica's double life when their technology reveals a picture; Linda sets up Ted with another woman.


Rather than admit Veridian isn't going green to Linda, Ted invents a fake project, but other employees soon sign up.

"Father, Can You Hair Me?"

Veronica deals with news that her father is dying while Ted tries to invent a cure for baldness to impress his father.

"Trust and Consequence"

When Veridian Dynamics is being sued, the company tries to make Linda its scapegoat.


When a biocomputer fails, the office is forced to move around. Linda moves into Ted's office, and a cute woman moves into Phil and Lem's lab.

"You Are the Boss of Me"

Linda befriends Veronica; Ted joins Phil and Lem's medieval fight club.

"Get Happy"

Morale is low at Veridian Dynamics and personal evaluations reveal no one likes Veronica and that everyone loves Ted.

"Goodbye, Mr. Chips"

When Ted is accidentally deleted from the system, the only way he can get back in is by reapplying for his job.

"Win Some, Dose Some"

Phil and Lem accidentally drug Linda, while Veronica and Ted have a wrapping paper selling / buying competition.

"Racial Sensitivity"

Lem discovers that the company's new sensor system doesn't detect him or the other black people in the office. Ted goes on a man date with Linda's new boyfriend, Don.

"Through Rose-Colored HAZMAT Suits"

When Ted's babysitter is sick, he brings Rose to work with him. Someone is setting off false alarms at work causing everyone to wear HAZMAT suits.


Ted and his scientists work on a cow-less meat that's grown in a lab.

Ted Crisp, VP of R&D at Veridian Dynamics, has to convince his scientist, Phil, to freeze himself.

Better Off Ted
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Better Off Ted Season 1 Quotes

Okay, people, we need to turn this simple festive gourd into a killer. I've asked Dr. Bamba to take a look at how Nature does it, because Nature is a fantastic killer of things


Veronica: We want to weaponize a pumpkin.
Ted: Then so do I. Because?
Veronica: There's a country with whom we do business that grows a great deal of pumpkins and would welcome additional uses for them. As well as cheaper ways to kill their enemies.
Ted: Well, finally the pumpkin gets to do something besides Halloween.
Veronica: Pie.
Ted: Halloween and pie