A guy needs to protect himself. I had to make sure you're safe, and your name was a glorious place to start. Not a lot of Guinevere Becks. And there you were, every account sent to public. You want to be seen, heard, known, and of course, I obliged.
Born and raised Nantucket Island. A brother Clyde and sister Anya. Your parents really were assholes about the names. Your folks split when you were 12. Your dad dropped out of the picture.
Went to Brown where you majored in Lit. Cool. And minored in douchebags. Eh. And then on to NYC to conquer an MFA, and make your mark presumably. Now you still write, barely. Too busy living out moments you won't remember five years from now. I know this because you post about this life all the goddamn time. Candidly, it's the least appealing thing about you, Beck.
Joe Voiceover
