Evelyn: You're a dermatologist. How do I get rid of 170 lb skin tag?
Alan: Excuse me, 164.
Charlie: Really? That's the part of you object to?
Alan: Would you like to be called a 200 lb drunk?
Charlie: 180.
Alan: See?
Charlie: Yeah, well better a lush than a leach.


Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 (1 Vote)
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Characters:
Charlie Harper, Alan Harper, Evelyn Harper
Episode:
Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episode 7: "The Crazy Bitch Gazette"
Show:
Two and a Half Men
Related Quotes:
Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes, Evelyn Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episode 7 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episode 7 Quotes

Michelle: You have a wonderful son.
Evelyn: Yes I do. But Charlie and Alan must never learn of him.

Michelle: You eat a lot of fish. Aren't you worried about mercury?
Charlie: Michelle, on the list of things I expect to kill me, mercury poisoning ranks well below liver failure, struck by lightning and heart attack during sex. Guess which one I'm rooting for?